I am like Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua…

18 07 2008

and I’m going to take a bite out of you!

According to my other half I am like Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua … because apparantly I’m a cute little angry dog who likes to bite people and everyone wants to see me to see who I’m going to bite next. (Don’t laugh, it could be you next!! Bwah ha ha ha!!)

Actually, I am not a Paris Hilton fan and I have no idea if her dog has ever bitten anyone. I think my other half chose her for the joke because I am terrible with dog breeds but everyone can envisage the small dog that Paris Hilton has with her in certain photos etc

Well it could be worse, at least I’m not like the pig out of the movie “Babe” or something equally worse. Or the silly blonde girl (character only not the actress) off “Legally Blonde” those would be true fighting words.

Clearly, this could be a pretty apt description of what I’m like. This should be my cue to blame it all on the pain of the small growth that has started it’s own metropolis in my leg, but really that just wouldn’t be the truth of the matter.

I guess part of my problem would have to be my impatience. I am particularly impatient with bad service. I started my own gleeful cherished horrid customer service career at the age of 14 and quite frankly if I had to smile and be NICE to people then damn it other people should be able to do it back to me if they are in a customer service job.

This gets under my skin so much at times that one day I actually got into a little Robert Deniro type show down with a girl at the Deli counter at my local supermarket. The girl in the beginning saw me standing there but refused to come and serve me, prefering to continue her conversation with her workmate, who also didn’t want to serve me. There were no other customers around and the girls were looking right at me and not serving me. I waited for a couple of minutes and then when she served me (without a smile), she practically threw my food at me after she’d wrapped it and the whole thing just got to me. (I should probably add that being ignored doesn’t really go over well with me either) so with steam coming out of my ears I just lost it and in a nice cutting tone I said to the girl when she threw my wrapped up food at me “Have you got a problem with me or something?” the girl looked totally flabbergasted and didn’t know what I meant, perhaps she didn’t even realise that she’d been so rude. Or perhpas I was overreacting?

I guess this is why I’m like the Chihuahua, if something bothers me I generally have no problem telling you about it, possibly with nasty tone attached. But really, why bottle things up? That just leads to explosions, usually in a post office where people get killed. Or sometimes in a nasty blog post …

I’m also impatient with the assholes in the world around me. Like the asshole P Plater driver who cut me off at a round-a-bout during my driving test many years ago … lucky I passed or in the small town I was living in I would have hunted him down and put a Chihuahua like bite in his arse.

Or one friend in particular who tells me every time I see him (over a period of four years) that my cat has a big head. Despite my asking him politely to not say that about my cat, he continues to say it and manages to insert it into conversations that have nothing to do with my cat, any cat or any other animals for that matter. For example:

Me: Hey did you hear on the news that the Reserve Bank of Australia is putting up interest rates again!

Friend: Oh yeah, really? That sux. Hey did you know that your cat has a big head?

(note: that conversation was exaggerated for comic effect but you get the idea)

Obviously he’s obsessed with size. Well I am sure that revenge will be mine when said friend has a mongoloid baby with his cousin that he loves to death and I can say “Hey, do you know that your baby has a fat head?” Oh gosh it’s so childish I know, but four years, four years, four goddamn years!!

My beautiful cat

My beautiful cat, Mr Zim (Fat Head Sold Separately)

Other assholes in the world are the people that took the McOz burger off the menu at McDonalds while I was away in Korea. You see I secretly knew that my purchasing that burger once a week was keeping them in business but as soon as I leave, it just wasn’t selling. But really, what were they thinking?? It’s a burger with beetroot! For many Australians that’s a quintessential part of our culture having beetroot on a burger and in typical American Multinational “We don’t care about the tastes of the country we are selling our product in” they took it off the menu. Now it seems you can get a deluxe McFeast (the ordinary McFeast was my previous favourite before the McOz was in existence) or some other lean Beef Burger. I don’t think this turn of events would have bothered me so much if it wasn’t for the fact that I had cravings for that burger while I was out of the country that and the fact that because of McDonalds we don’t seem to have as many little hamburger joints anymore that sell hamburgers with beetroot.

Anyway, while I admire those people that can either bottle up their issues or just avoid conflict altogether … I am just not one of those people (partly because it makes more amusing blog posts this way). But surely there are other people out there that get annoyed with the world. Surely not everyone just shrugs and says “Oh well” and goes about their business without it bothering them at least a bit??

I’m a Chihuahua and I’m not changing!