Dear Dad, Yet Another Confession to Make …

20 10 2008

As you know from a couple of previous posts my Dad’s computer has been holding me hostage. (Relevant post 1 and relevant post 2)

Whenever the thing turns off, it refuses to turn back on for at least 24 hours.

The last time it happened, it magically turned back on as if nothing was wrong.

I vowed never to turn it off again.

My vow was as stupid as the people who advertised the Titanic as the ship that can never sink …

Yep, the universe had its revenge over my “vow”

Everything went swimmingly for a couple of days …

I kept the computer on …

I remembered to remove all my writing drafts and ideas to another computer …

Yep, fine …

Until …

One night I was playing World of Warcraft … (computer game)

I spent hours previously downloading all the new rules in the latest update …

It took three hours to get it all done …

Then another couple of hours fiddling and understanding all the new rules.

Then I go to do my first quest of the evening …

I see the dragon, I plan my tactics, I select him with the mouse and press the key for certain destruction …

Then my apartment is plunged into darkness …

Yep, a freakin power failure!!

I sat in darkness for all of a minute before power was blissfully restored to our tiny apartment …

Except for the computer …

Like a movie star throwing their first hissy fit; it refuses to turn on.

I stand there looking at it with my mouth gaping open and opening and closing my fists …

But … But the Dragon … I was going to kill it …

I launch an expletive into the air and flounce over to my laptop …

My laptop is over three years old …

It can run the game with all the video settings on low …

The graphics look like I’m running an Atari or Commodore 64.

Argh!

I try to turn the computer on every hour without success …

24 hours later, the computer once again springs into action with a song …

It acts like nothing was ever wrong …

It pretends there is no bad blood between us …

But I know it is smirking at me …

After some hesitation, I settle into playing my computer game again …

Just when I think it is safe …

The computer shows a black screen …

Followed by a blue screen …

Not the blue screen of death thank god but instead it has a message for me …

It reads: “The computer is shutting down. Updating 1 of 12.

A freakin Vista Automatic Update!

What the heck!

Why was there no warning?

Why didn’t it tell me to close down all the programs before it closed the computer down …

Argh!

I sit there frozen in front of the computer screen …

I can’t think of anything to do except watch in horror …

The computer shuts down and then attempts to restart.

The computer gets half way through the re-start before it stops …

It goes silent …

That amber light is flashing again!

Like Oliver Twist it’s saying “Please sir, I’d like some more” …

More power I’m guessing …

Like a doctor in the emergency room on a TV show I’m running around yelling “Get it some more power, STAT!”

Except nobody can hear me.

Anyway, I’m sitting here now at my Laptop …

Eyeing Dad’s computer from across the room …

But not with pride as he did; contempt is my friend this day.

So I write to you, Dad.

Yes, you!

This is my confession to you, as I need to inform you that …

I’ve thrown your impossible computer over the balcony …

I’m sorry …

There I said it …

It was the only way to take the smirk off its face …

Yeah, I know computers don’t have faces but this one did …

Yes, I should say Yes and not yeah …

I know you think I’m joking …

But I’m not …

I just snapped …

I watched it fly over the railing with a smile as I sent it on its way …

To the computer after-life …

I sighed with relief as it hit the ground with a crunch that echoed across the courtyard.

I grin to think of your reaction to this letter.

I’m also informing you that if you ever purchase another computer product made by DELL; it will be over between us!

All my love, Silvergirl2010.

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